Friday, June 15, 2018

Robert Axelrod Gofundme

Hey everyone! I'm here to signal boost a campaign for one of the most cherished Power Rangers voice actors; Robert Axelrod. 

If you've watched one episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, you've most likely heard Axelrod's fantastic voice as Lord Zedd and Finster. Or maybe you heard him as Wizardmon and Armadillomon from Digimon. Or heck, maybe you know him best as Terry Bruge-Hiplo; Channel 5's hardest working movie reviewer.

Well Mr. Axelrod is currently undergoing some complications from a recent back surgery that's left him unable to work. You can read the information on his Gofundme right here. If any of you lovely readers have a few extra bucks to help out a fella in need, it would be most appreciated.

And for anyone who donates, if you send me a copy of your receipt then I'll write a personalized mini-review for an episode of Power Rangers just for you! All based on my recollection of the episode that you recommend. Want to hear my poorly-remembered thoughts on some piece of shit episode of Wild Force? I'm sure I can whip up a paragraph for that! I can't promise anything very long, but I'll try and include at least two jokes! 

Or if you just wanna donate to a good man, you can do that. Otherwise, feel free to shoot me an e-mail at Thank you for hearing me out, everyone. Kisses.

Monday, May 28, 2018

MMPR Season 3 Episode 31: Master Vile and the Metallic Armor Part 3

End of World Celebrated by Mutant Livestock
Withered Old Man Besieged by Rockets

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Somehow Not Dead

I ain't done yet, bitches! I've got the first draft done and once I get notes and edit all the not funny parts out (roughly 12 pages worth), you got a new post coming your way!

For the people who've waited patiently, I appreciate it. Truly. I got more stuff to say, so don't count me out yet! I'm not going to promise it this week, because the last time I said that I was told my store was going out of business, but I'd be shocked if it wasn't in that time frame.

And after that's done I can discuss those keys I bought if anyone wants to know. Remember when I made a big to-do about how I wanted a key from each team?

I'm a sick fuck.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Anyone Got A Job?

I'm not sure how forthcoming I've been with the information in the past, but I've been employed with Toys "R" Us for nearly 7 years now. Fitting for someone whose hobbies include talking about Power Rangers and collecting Power Rangers-based merchandise, right?

Well, I'm sure many of you have seen the news that Geoffrey the Giraffe is being put out to pasture. All of the R Us locations are being shut down, and now people won't be able to shop in our colorful, expensive, poorly-staffed locations any longer.

Sorry, that's not fair. As tough as it's been, and as much as I fucking loathe selling people credit cards with a 30% interest mark-up, it's been fun. It's an environment where you don't need to take yourself too seriously and you can have fun with your job. Obviously I'm none too excited to learn I'll be losing my job (along with another 30,000 employees,) but it stings even worse knowing how comfortable I was in the position. It's really frustrating to build up rapport with a company for so long only for the rug to be pulled out from underneath you in an instant.

Naturally the week that I promise to finally update my fucking blog is the week that I'm informed I'll be losing my job in two months.

I apologize to all of you intensely. If you'd be kind enough to give me another week, I'd appreciate it. As you can imagine, I've been a bit preoccupied with the news that I only have another two months of employment to look forward to. While that's been disheartening in and of itself, it's been just as irritating fielding frequent phone calls from people who are only concerned when we'll be marking items down.

Not too sure! It'll likely be when I don't have a job anymore, cunt-face.

I've been spending a nice chunk of this week looking for a new job, because holy lordy I'm going to need money if I want to keep buying those fucking Ranger Keys. What else do people do with money? Invest? Buy houses? Child's play. You show me a man who doesn't know the value of a Black Condor Key, and I'll show you a man who's never lived a day in his life.

What was I talking about? New jobs? Yeah I should probably keep looking for one of those.

I feel like an absolute piece of shit, but I can at least tell everyone that I'm more than 3/4ths done with the episode. Compare that to the paltry 1/6th I had done before I took my extended hiatus. I'm almost there, everybody.

Alternatively; if anyone wants to give me a 6 figure job for writing about a space ghoul getting punched in the tits by a flying ninja chimera, everyone's problems may end up being solved!

Monday, March 5, 2018

Ranger Key Update 3.6!


Nah, fuck that. There'll be a new post next week. Is it done yet? No. Is it even plausibly ready for human consumption yet? Nope-a-rooski. Is it still going to be out by next week? Oh fucking absolutely.

Why? Because you sweethearts have waited for me. You haven't burned me in effigy for my massive absence, and every comment left from some beautiful person wondering if I'm still alive has really put things into perspective. It's been a long few months, and things are going real topsy-turvy for me. But that ain't stopped me before! I don't blame anyone for being bummed out that it's taken me so long to get my ass back to posting. If the wait has been too long, I understand. Though I sincerely hope you do stick around!

I love doing the blog, I love making people laugh, I love re-reading posts and cringing at my atrocious syntax and grammatical skills. You've all been part of this for so long, it'd be ridiculous if I didn't at least finish Mighty Morphin'.

Not because I feel like I have to, but because we've sat through this goddamn show together. We've endured every single second of Zordon abusing teenagers, Tommy grinning like a dumbass sheepdog, Trini fading out of existence while nobody notices, and Bulk debasing himself in any manner humanly possible. If I was just pissing these blog entries into the ether I'd feel a little bummed, but I have people who relate to this dumbass show.

So no matter what the future holds now, we're at the very least finishing up with Season 3. It continues next week my friends. Get ready! Get hyped!

Unless you wanted me to follow up with another post about my key collection, in which case you may have to wait a little bit longer.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Ranger Key Collection Ver. 2.0

Hoo boy. Here we go. Time to own up and admit just how many of these plastic trinkets I've blown paychecks on. I promise you good people I'll get back to writing episode reviews in due time, I've just needed something to post on here that I could write (mostly) if I wasn't at home. Thank you for giving me time, and I understand any frustration you good people have with me. If it makes you feel any better, I've picked up a hobby far more financially damaging than any gambler ever could.

Alright, come inside and see my shame.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Where the Fuck Have I Been?

Not writing. Okay, we'll see ya later.