Monday, April 3, 2017

Power Rangers 2017 Update

Y'know what? I'm not feeling particularly enthused with my initial take on the new Power Rangers movie. That doesn't mean I'm going soft and getting rid of it, but I think I'd prefer having a counterpoint on it. I'm not used to reviewing movies, unless they're starring purple semen monsters, and this movie only had a brief mentioning of ejaculation. How can I possibly hope to stand a chance?!

Well that's why I've outsourced commissioned someone who actually knows how to do movie reviews to offer a more nuanced take on the film. After a number of drunken yelling sessions, I've finally convinced him to see the 2017 Power Rangers film, and give his thoughts on it. His review will be posted a little later this week, most likely Wednesday, April 5th, and it'll serve as a companion piece to mine.

I apologize that this keeps up from the much-anticipated continuation of Season 3, but please try and understand. I had to spend two weeks of my life listening to the misadventures of a rapping specter. I had to give myself a little space away from the series before I jumped back in. Next thing you know, I'll have to watch a jack-o-lantern monster with tree roots for legs. That's be insane!

Thanks for your (presumed) patience. This movie is the biggest shot in the arm this franchise could ever get, and I didn't want to leave it with a review I wasn't completely happy with. In the meantime, enjoy the cosmic restraint it took me to not mention the fact that the Red Ranger jerked a bull off in a movie released in TYOOL 2017.

For those of you wondering why? I honestly don't have an answer.


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