Tuesday, July 25, 2017

MMPR Season 3 Episode 25: A Different Shade of Pink Part 3

Aussie Wins Again!
Teenager Escapes Prison By Massaging Skeleton

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

MMPR Season 3 Episode 24: A Different Shade of Pink Part 2

Tommy Offers His Girlfriend Questionable Bedside Manner
Grim Promises of Horror Threatened by Lizard in Trash Can

Monday, July 10, 2017

The Tale of the Nameless .GIF.

So I spend quite a bit of time staring at images of Power Rangers episodes. It's a pretty natural thing to do when you make a blog about the series, but this week finally broke me. I was watching A Different Shade of Pink Part 2, and I created this particular .gif.

Now let me pull back the curtain on how I make these dumbass posts, for all the none of you who care. Whenever I make a .gif, the name of the file is typically a joke. That means you get three jokes per image. One in the file title, one as the hover text, and one underneath each image. Which is because I am a goddamned psychopath and I think that making two jokes for an image I barely had one joke for is a great idea. So if you ever wonder why image names or alt text jokes are a little lacking, it's because I was at my wit's end and just struggled to come up with something. Anything

The image title is always the easiest though, because I know that not that many people are actually going to go out of their way to read the name of a goddamn .gif for an extra chuckle. Which is good, because that means it can be a mediocre joke, or occasionally just me being a big old piss boy about how this show for dumb babies is dumb and also for babies.

But then I made this .gif. And the easy part didn't happen. I knew it was amusing, I knew I wanted to post it, and I knew it should be in this write-up. But I had nothing. Absolutely friggin' nothing to title it. I had no jokes for what to put underneath it. I had no jokes for the alt text. And I couldn't even think of a dogshit joke to use for the file name. 

That's when I got into a legitimate funk. I was aghast at my lack of creativity. I've felt like I've been in a creative slump lately, and this godawful .gif is what proved it to me. I didn't have a joke or a pun or a witty remark. Nothing. I had failed my audience, and I ceased writing. The word document sitting on my computer has literally stopped at this point of the episode. 

See all that white space at the bottom? I spent the better part of 3 hours staring at it and feeling like I had nothing to say about this episode. It's still looking at me. Like it's mocking me for having nothing amusing or interesting to posit. I'm in a rut, and that Tenga knows it. It's humiliating.

I'm sorry for being so inconsistent lately, and I genuinely hope that my latest entries have been good despite my weird hang-ups. I just want to explain the emotional depths I sank to while making that moving image of a bird getting flung into a truck. I'm gonna take some time and give some extra effort to this post. Make it look better next week. All because I couldn't think of a joke for this goddamned bird.

Wait a sec...hold on.

"Rocky flips the bird."


Tuesday, July 4, 2017

MMPR Season 3 Episode 23: A Different Shade of Pink Part 1

Bulk and Skull Wear Leotards
Immigrant Tricked into Marriage With Ninja Bird

Monday, June 26, 2017

MMPR Season 3 Episode 22: Follow That Cab

Stuntman in Wheelchair Shoved Down Road to Portray Taxi Goblin
Demon Cat Runs Food Drive For Homeless 

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Next Post-Next Week-Next Time, Baby

Woof, what a week. Two birthdays, father's day, and more time at work? Guess who hasn't even thought about those Powerful Rangers this week? I don't even have a cute image of a traffic cab monster to share with you good folks to tease the upcoming episode.

If it makes you sweetheart readers feel any better, I've definitely been working on writing a particular side project I'm keeping quiet about for now. Keep your fingers crossed I don't end up detesting it and deleting it in the interim. I know it isn't much help for this week, but hey! At least I'm working on coming up with something entertaining for all y'all. First time for everything, right?

Sorry in advance if you were banking on me discussing this episode tomorrow, but I never want to put out a piece of shit post that took me two hours to run through. I have to get as thorough and nerdy as possible, and I plan on maintaining that aesthetic for as long as I keep updating this thing.

If you'd like something to enjoy in the meanwhile, you oughta check out my pal Big Bob Pataki's podcast, "Reel Deal: No Sex Appeal." They talk the big movies that I'm not going to watch, because they don't have rubber-suit brick walls in them. Wonder Woman? More like, wonder why there's no monsters in this shit. Get out of my face, Godot.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

MMPR Season 3 Episode 21: Changing of the Zords Part 3

Squatt Wears A Sombrero
Giant Ninja Man Shakes Bird Boys